Federant Medium

Break on through to the other side Regular

For every 30 minutes you spend
on the range, you should devote double
that amount of time on short game (chip,
putt etc)

This is the true measure to see if indeed you are a real golfer!  If at

least 18 of these statements truly pertain to you........ you can

OFFICIALLY call yourself the "REAL DEAL!"

____you use a plain white towel for your clubs, never a towel with a ring connector.

____you have a rule book, have actually read it, and follow it!

____you hang your left leg out of the cart in an attempt to look bored, competent and nonchalant.

____you try to make that long carry to that tough par 5 until you finally make it.

____you have practiced your shoulder turn while driving or looking in a mirror on numerous occasions.

____you play better when the pressure’s on.

____you have NEVER once considered Ever carrying a ball retriever (cringe).

____you have NEVER once considered Ever using a pull cart (cringe again).

____you play by the rules, period.

____you actually practice.....and practice......and practice and.........(you get the idea).

____you prefer your tees to be all one color.

____you don’t have to try every new club that comes out.

____you carry your bag backwards on your opposite shoulder (especially college

____you have newspaper clippings with your name in them.

____you try to qualify for the Open.......every year!

____you always play the tips.

____you have subscriptions to and read ALL the golf magazines.

____you have 1 designated TV in the house that is tuned to the Golf Channel 24/7/365.

____you have a Gore-Tex rain suit.

____you introduce yourself to fellow-competitors on the first tee and by the first
green you have to ask their names again (after all, you were preparing mentally).

____you can run face to face into a Tour player and not ask for an autograph.

____you putt last in scrambles because your team wants it that way....enough said.

____you get invited to play scrambles and the others offer to pay your fee.

____you return the iron covers someone bought you.

____you re-grip your own clubs, in the parking lot, a half hour before your tee time.

____you’ve mailed something to the USGA.

____you hit a ball into a water hazard and you won’t even go look for it. You know why.

____your left hand is deathly white and it’s summer.

____you’d rather not play than start a round without golf shoes and a new ball.

____you play the ball down, period.

____you won’t ever use a plastic tee.

____you make 3 birdies in a row.

____you have calluses on the last 3 fingers of your left hand.

____you have bronze legs and white feet.

** Disclaimer: This is not my genius creativity unfortunately, so I cannot take credit (although I somewhat slightly modified it a bit)  Found this a number of years back online I believe, and found it to be funny yet very accurate for the most part, especially regarding those of us who have been playing golf all our lives and consider the game and business of golf not a job but rather a lifestyle! To the person who crafted this...Well Done!